I had the same problem several years ago. The relay is not inside the door. The relay is WAY under the dash, near the metal firewall. I don't remember exactly, but I think it was alone, on the passenger's side. I only had to remove one panel under the dash to access it. There are a pair of relays on the passenger side, but the single relay is farther forward. The pic in the manual is no help in finding it.
I swapped it for the high-beam relay from under the hood. This let me put a known good relay in and test the bad one.
The AC fan relay went out a few week later. Assholes mounted it to the back of the fuse block just in front of the driver's door.