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I must admitt this FlyingZCar caught my interest in his post yesterday. I was checking with some of my FBI buddies, and I found his address and I thought I would go and check this guy out for myself.
So, there I was leaving work, heading towards Mr. Maxamillions house when I came up on this redlight. I pulled to a stop and this black honda civic with limosene black window tent pulls up next to me. I usually do not even look at rice cars like civics, but this guy started reving his engine and looking my way. The light on the crossroad was still green, so I new I had some time before my light went green. I rolled down my window and motioned for him to do the same. Once I saw the man inside (with his girlfriend) I yelled over to them "You drive a Civic. Your car is slow, so why are you tring to race?" the Civic driver did not take it too well, I think he got embarresed. He just floored it on the red light and went right thru the traffic. I paused for a moment, and decided it would be best if I chased him down and opened up a can of whoopass on him, so his girlfriend will understand the error of her ways. I popped the clutch and doubleshifted my way back to the "speeding" civic. I got even with him, and we were both going about 60mph. I easily surpassed the civic, and got right in front of him. I pressed secret button #342 and let loose my super slippery gue. I then slammed by breaks, and clipped his rear quarter panel causing him to go into a unconrolled helacopter spin. I could see the pure look of terror in the ricers face as the car spun around and around at speeds of 100mph. (Oh, by the way, I drive a 1995 300zx Twinturbo SGP stage 18+ with brand new duel shotgun racks, slightly modified to fit my special secret weapons.) OK, back to the honda. After about 30 seconds of terrible spinning, his ride had finally come to an end on a huge Oak Tree. His Accord was totally banged up. Smoke was coming from the engine, with a burning hint of fire under the hood. I jumped out of my Car and ran over to the Civic and helped his girlfriend out of the car. I led her over to the other side of the oak tree and told her to stay there. I went back for the ricer and found him vomitting on the grass. I guess, he is not used to being in a uncontrolled spin and slamming into pine trees. When I realized that he is not going anywhere, I ran back over to my Z to get a few of my secret spy weapons. I grabbed the poo stick and and a morning fresh reload. I walked back over to the man and began smearing the poo all over his face chest back neck and hair. At first I don't think he knew what was doing. I think he thought I was trying to help. But I proceeded to cover my victom in poo to further humiliate this ricer. I then covered his body with rice grains, that were specially made for me, that I ordered on the internet. Every grain of rice had a messege written on it in very tiny text. They all read "I am property of Billy B. I am a sad honda driver that just got humiliated by the great Billy B." As I was walking back to my Z to put the almost empty bag of rice away, the girlfriend started hitting on me. I was about to let her in the Z and see if she wanted to taste some rocky road, but at that moment I heard a very weird noise. I looked up and saw a outline of a vehicle that looked very familiar. It was flying about 40 feet high, and it looked like it was about to land on a near by street. I decided the ice cream could wait, and I told the girl to wait near the apple tree. I jumped back in the Z and began my persuit of the FlyingZCar. I saw the FlyingZCar coming to a stop (now the verticle landing really did impress me) and I quickly parked next to it and jumped out to find the driver. Half of me was hoping that this guy would be a complete jackass, so I would have some cool story to tell you guys and on the other hand, I do need a new spy car technician to install my latest weapondry. I found Mr. Maxamillion in a bar ordering a Shot of Vodka. I dident want to make my presents known just quite yet. I hanged back, just taking in the scenery. I walked up to Victor, and I asked if that was his flying car out there. He did not seem too interested in me, and just said yes it is, and turned away. He payed for his beer and left the joint. I stayed behind and watched him go back out to his car. I noticed him stop when he got near his car. He had noticed my License plate. "Billy B." He then realized who he had just spoken to. He then ran back inside and started to apologize to me saying he did'nt know who he was speaking to. I decided for the time being that I would not kick the crap out of the guy yet, and I just asked a few questions that some of you guys probably were asking yourselfs. I asked how to do you get in and out of the car, with those jet engines on each side. he replyed, they are attached to the door and they swing open with the door. I then asked him If he had any other modifications to it. He took me outside to his car to show me the interior. It really did look like a stock 300ZX interior. I asked "how do you control your altitude? he replyed with my steering wheel. He uses the little steering wheel adjuster that moves the steering wheel up or down, to control his car in flight. I thought to myself, some of his inventions actually DO seem usefull. I asked the question. "Would you like to work for me as my Auto Technician/Weapons installer?" I must warn you that my last installer "Ash" got the crap kicked out of him because he poored oil into the gastank. After I fired Ash about 2 weeks ago, I have been looking for a new technician. After a few minutes of thinking Mr. Maxamillion said he was honored, but he would have to repectfully decline. Know, if you know me, you now that I will not put up with insubordination. I told Victor, this is really not a choice on his part. That seemed to upset him. He began rambling on about his car, and about how he thought his car could actually stand up in a battle against mine. I had no choice but to challange Mr. Maxamillion to a dule. We set a dule time of 3:00pm, and we agreed on meeting at the south side of the apple tree. We parted and both went to go and prepare our cars for battle. I went over to my Secret Z cave and began fueling up my rocket lauchers and slippery gue. I also activated my ever popular cloaking device. After about 20 minutes of preparation, I was ready for battle. I crused down to the oak tree where we were to battle, I got there about 15 minutes early. The sun was going down, and this was prime time for my Super Cloaker 3000 to really shine. I had my car scan the area for any other lifeforms in a 3 block radius. I detected a faint signal coming from the other side of the oak tree. I ran over there and to my supprise I found the ricer's girlfriend still there waiting for me. I told her to get lost and run for cover, there was about to be a epic battle, and she did not want to get caught up in it. I went back to my Z and scanned again, this time it was clear, I sat waiting patiently. The time was now 3:01 and not a single beep from the body heat scanner. I began to think that Mr. Maxamillion was going to be a no show. That's right when my rocket launcher defense system self activated. Launching off two drone rockets designed to stop incoming missiles. I heard two explosions, and I new that my defense system was well worth the millions of dollars I paid for it. I looked to the sky and saw FlyingZCar high above the clouds. I could hear his crappy HKS Hiper Eshaust whining like a seagule in the cool night air. I engaged my offinsive missles and turned on the computer guiding/heat seaking system. I lauched two torpedoos, and watched them fly toward the Flying Z Car. Luckily he had deployed his Ztrash and sent spare body panels hurdleing toward the ground. Both of my missles missed the target. What I did next must have really stumped Mr. Maxamillion, I put my Z in Air Mode and hauled ass up to 300 feet. Unlike Mr. Maxamillion, I was able to acheive this without Jet Engines on either side of my car. I acheived this using only my Stage 18+ Z32 TT engine. I climbed to around 400 feet, then engaged my Super cloaker 3000. I was out of his sight, but I was not sure if he had a radar system on his FlyingZCar. I manevered to his rear, and blasted away with my sub machine gun headlights. I could tell that the FlyingZCar was a little out of his Leage and I needed to teach him a lesson. After a few key hits, Victors car was on it's way to a hard landing. I followed him down and landed next to his pile of burning rubble. I saw him crawling out of the wreckage, I could see him crying and yelling that his life work had been destroyed. I walked over to Mr. Maxamillion, and told him that his Idea was wrong to begin with. I said Downforce really has nothing to do with the shape of the car, it has to do with the ground you are traveling over. I asked him again, "I still need a weapons tech for my Z" He looked back at his pile of burning metal, and then excepted the job. I asked him if he had ever tried Rocky Road Ice Cream, and Victor said that he had heard me talking about it, but had never tried it himself. We hopped into my car and flew over to the local icecream shop. I had Rocky Road, and he had pink sherbert.
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Billy B. Vs FlyingZCar - 
14:26:23 06/04/03
