Subject	NZR: Just for laughs - are you a ricer (long)
Posted by	sasha on June 14, 2001 at 4:27 PM
	This message has been viewed 30 times.
Message	Yellow equals faster! Yes, with a few well spread applications of yellow between paint and stickers you too can gain serious horsepower! Wings. BIG wings. The bigger the wing the more power the car. After all, these Front Wheel Drive cars really need a lot of rear down force to keep the front wheels planted..right? Oversized exhaust tips! These can range from cat-back exhausts that end in tips large enough to stuff your hand into and STILL have room to move it all the way down to the clamp-on or bolt on resonators. They all succeed in making annoying farty sounds that will surely attract attention from all those people who envy the ricer's ability to get the loudest sounds out of the slowest cars. These also tend to decrease performance on quite a few vehicles. Sticker kits! Yes, lots of stickers make more power. Windshield banners are much bigger than stickers so they give even more power. How do you make it faster yet? Make them yellow stickers! That more than doubles the effect of power gains! It doesn't matter if you have stickers on the car for items you don't even have or for product lines that sound good while you use some cheap generic items. (For instance: Nitto stickers while the car is equipped with Sears tires). Slammed cars are a given. There are a few who take the time to get decent springs and coil-over kits but many just take a blow torch and hack off a few coils from their springs. Besides destroying performance they also tend to destroy the cars never mind that the stock struts or shocks won't last a month after the cuts. The sight of these slammed vehicles trying to negotiate a parking lot with a speed bump in it is rather amusing! Oversized wheels w/ rubber bands that range from 17-20" on cars that came with 14" wheels and 185 or 195 series tires. The ricers somehow go from the 14" tires with 185/60/14 to 18" wheels with 225/35/18's on their car and wonder why they can't accelerate fast enough to get out of their own way much less actually turn the car more than a couple degrees without ripping out wheel-well material. This is exaggerated further with the cars being slammed. Bass. Lots of bass! No, not the fish, the big booming sound you hear as their car is slowly vibrated to death. They will stuff in the biggest speaker they can find powered by an anemic amp and try to show off how great their cars sound when everyone is laughing at how distorted the car is. Hardly ever do they bother putting in the rest of the speakers to go with it; instead they rely on the stock crap that came with it and was likely blown up months ago. It can be downright ridiculous as their hatchbacks visibly vibrate while trying to overcome they farty sound from their exhaust tips. Neon kits underneath the car, around the license plates, in the car itself, in the engine, etc. The more the merrier! Black lights inside the car are supposed to show off the people I suppose but they only serve to blind the occupants to what is going on outside. Oh well. Racing tow hooks for cars that will never see a track are a common sight. Non-existent racing teams abound in the Rice Boy arena. They will have web sites posted that don't exist, teams that don't exist for cars that have never and will never see a track, etc. Fear them! Blacked out lights and clear corner markers. Some will try to make everything pitch black (even going so far as to use electrical tape in different colors) to blend the body in. Some will try to use multi-colored lenses in their turn signal lights. This is safety equipment, not a Christmas tree! Identity Crises: Yes, many have an identity crises to what kind of car they are driving. Type-R's to Si-R's to V-tec on cars that never came with it (and are not currently a hybrid). An inability to spell on their stickers. V-TEC is the proper spelling, Fear is the proper spelling. Boys is the proper spelling. This is America, not Ebonics 'R Us. Chinese/Japanese characters all over the cars when they don't have a clue what they say. This is even more funny when it's found on "Domestic" branded vehicles. Xenon wanna-be headlights. The real stuff doesn't glare, the real stuff costs a few grand, the real stuff provides nearly perfect light. These fake blue bulbs don't even remotely look like the real thing. They are only annoying to everyone else. Overstyled super-aggressive looking aero-kits for stock cars.
Follow Ups	NZR: Just for laughs - are you a ricer (long) - sasha 16:27:49 06/14/01
Post a Followup	You cannot reply to this message because you are not logged in.