| So there i was leaving work when i came up on this red light. The night was cold and unforgiving. I could hear the sound of a lone pianoist in the distance, music so unfeaterd that it made my 110 octane racing gas burn with desire. As I lay in wait for the green, my mind begins the imagine the wonders of the best movie ever createde I a speaking of Fast and the ferious: Tokoyo Drift. I haven't watched it yet, but I don't have to have "seen" it to know it is the best movie of all time. I look down in my pocket and verify I still have my advance screening ticket for the midnight showing. Still there. Me and my coworker are on our way to catch the first feature. Those of you that don't know me. I drive a 1995 300zx TT SGP Stage 26(+) with brand new (+). One more thing you might not now...Drifting is my life. The music begins to fade little by little overwelmed by the whine of a coffee cup "sport" muffler attached to a riceburning honda civic. I glance over at this "modified" grocery getter and notice the aluminum universal wing glued to the spacious trunk. Know, if you now me, you now that I do not put up with riceburning hondas. I look over at the driver and notice he is waring a bright green visor hat....I hate him even more. Poser. Rice Poser. My blood begins to start circulating at a rapid agressive nature. By this time he is looking at me through my rolled down windows. I here the defening moan of his muffler and notice some engine movement making the honda lunge forward ever so slightly. He was challanging my manhood. The light turned green and his tires began to screetch, reminesent of a starved baby bird calling for it's exausted mother. I let the honda get about 1 car length in front while I was adjusting my boost gauge. 45psi will have to do. no need to overdue it. I pressed the gas and allowed the boost to propel me to about 3g's. My coworker is a fighter pilot and was always asking me to go for a ride is his fighter jet to watch me pass out under his extreme pressure. I look over to my passenger seat about 5 seconds into boost and notice Kyle sound asleep, with his lap covered in last night's meatloaf. It was quite gross. I slowed down and threw some water on my passenger's face to wake him. But he was out cold. I noticed a icecream shop across the street. i pulled over and ordered my usual rocky road and some pink sherbert for my sleepy friend. When I get back in the Z, I noticed Kyle finally awoke. As he wiped off the chunks of meatloaf and grahm crackers from his chin he pledged his everlasting devotion to me and my unmatched racing skills. I rewarded him with his gay pink sherbert. As I made my turn out of the icecream shop the same honda zoomed by me about 5 feet from my presence. know if you now me, you now that I will not put up with disgraced riceburning honda drivers not commiting seppuku after loosing a race. I began my persuit even as Kyle was trying to calm me down. He kept saying "We have to catch the movie". I told him this wont take long. I quickly realed in the honda and switched from touring to sport to my newly installed attack mode. I could feel the seat vibrate as my machine gun headlights acivated followed by the rapid heating of the paint on the Z activating the reflective properties enabling "stealth mode". I then activated flight mode - recently perfected by my good friend Victor Maximillion. I rose to about 20 feet and begain to hoover over the top of the riceburning honda. I released some slippery goo on the pavement propelling his car into a uncontrolled slide (much differnent then a drift) His car finally came to a stop on a grassy knowl. I landed the Z atop the knowl and pulled the poser from his now burning honda. A passer by praised me for "saving his life from the burning car". (if she only new) I walked back over to my Z and pulled out my much feared stick of poo. After walking back to the driver I begain spreading the poo all over his head, neck, chest, back and hair. not to mention a good portion on his upper lip. He tried to block my advances with somekind of weird hippy armlock me probably learned in a gay "self defensce" vhs tape. I quickly adjusted my crane kungfu style to tiger and twisted my way out of his armlock and begain to knaw of his forehead. The taste begain to become unappealing so I stopped knawing and walked back over to my car. We still had 45 minutes to get to the movie. I figured he had learned his lesson so we decided to leave him be so he can think about his life choices. I headed back home to give you all this update. Well, I'm off to see the movie. P.S. I think I leaft my stick on that grassy knowl, If anyone finds it, please respond and let me now. This has been a long awaited update to the billy b chronicles
6-23-06
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14:56:47 06/23/06
