They didnt bribe me. Bribes are where you get something in return... I'm not getting anything in return for posting this. It was just pure enjoyment and he wanted me to post to give you all a taste of what it was like.
Thank you all for being a bunch of assholes. This is why I dont post here.
A true thanks to those of you that enjoyed reading the post and didnt throw in your irrelavent 2 cents.