| I know Genic is gonna love this.. =) This is long read, but its a long story. A few weeks back a guy named Maurice Bates with a built TA(Master Bates ;-) was talking with John (John knows him somehow) about his car and racing $1K on races... I overheard a little of the conversation and John started laughing and said "Well, I got someone here ready to race you.." and he hands me the phone. The dialogue went like this: Me: Hello? Maurice: So you think your V6 is fast? Me: Well, its only 181 cubic inches but at 15psi it displaces 362 inches of air, and I'm running 20psi which puts it around 427 cubic inches.. Maurice: So what does that mean to me? Me: That my car is faster than yours. Maurice: You wait, I'll be there in a minute.. LOL, so I'm asking John what the hell he has done to his car and its apparently a 350 engine, stroked to 383 using a 400 c.i.d. crankshaft and rods. It also has a suupercharger running 8psi and a N2O setup. So I'm like "oh hell, sounds pretty stout." So I run up to the gas station to grab some octane booster (yes, that IS funny) and come back to the shop. I see a white TA and a black SS in the driveway.. As I'm driving past the car, taking note of the wheels and exhaust.. Some carbon on the rear bumper, flomaster exhaust, 255-45-16 Michelin tires.. I roll past and here's these two choads talking with John. So I get out of the car and it went something like this: Me: Hey, whats up? Maurice: Not much, you ready to do this? (while we're playing the handshake game) (stern voice) Me: I'm aways ready to do this man.. What you got? Maurice: Not much. So we proceed to walk into the office of the shop and he asks if I have my money straight. I told him I have two C-notes in my pocket and he laughs.. Maurice: Sheeeeeaaat. I'm not racing for no hundred bucks. $1G only. Me: Well... I know my car is fast, but I know there is always faster, and always slower.. How can you be so sure? Maurice: If we aren't racing for $1G, its not worth my time. Me: So you thinking of a rolling start, like on the highway, or what? Maurice: LOL, hell no. We would start from a standstill. And so they quickly exit stage left... So three days ago Josh Haney was up here at the shop. He's childhood friends with John, Russ, and Robert.. Josh: ASH! You let Maurice talk all kinds of shit about you? He was up at the club (Mansion) talking all kinds of smack about having you guys scared to race him. Me: Pffft. Fool wanted to race for a grand. I'm not that stupid.. I offered him two notes but he took it as an insult and tore out of here with his buddy.. Josh: You would wax his ass! Me: Oh yeah? Josh: Yeah! His sh*t aint that fast.. Me: Hmmph.. Looks like I got suckered, eh? *chuckle* Josh: Go bust his ass bro.. Last night John, Josh, Robert and I went to the Mansion to hang out.. As we were pulling into the parking lot, John sees a black SS and we park next to it. We go into the club and about an hour later we're talking cars/power/etc with Maurice's buddy who has the SS. Next thing I know, he's handing me his cell phone.. Me: Hello? Maurice: So are you ready to do this? Me: Well, I have some beef.. Maurice: 'Bout what? Me: What's up with you talking all kinds of smack up here about we being afraid to race you? Maurice: *laughs* Me: I'm not afraid to race you, but this $1G thing is silly. And I just hand the phone back to the guy... So about 15 minutes later, Maurice shows up at the club.. Maurice: So you ready to do this? (handshake game again) Me: I'm always ready.. Maurice: You got your money together? Me: I always have my money together, but I need to have good reason before I invest it somewhere.. Maurice: *laughs* A few moments pass and the conversation basically turned to what is in our cars, this and that... He tells me the specs and I do the same. So I tell him: Me: Well, I dont want this to sound like I'm copping out so I'll offer a suggestion. My copper plugs need replacing. At around 18psi she starts missing on cylinders and she's pulling like only 5 cylinders are hitting. Why dont we take the cars back to the shop to change the plugs(about 15 miles) and we'll play a little on the way and I'll tell you when we get there if I'll put $1K on it. Maurice: How do you know I wont possum? Me: How do you know I wont too? Maurice: My clutch is slipping a little and above 5000RPM it wants to run lean so I have to shift early. Sounds like we are both at a disadvantage. Last night I was at the club to hang and didn't go there with intentions of drag racing so I stepped over to tell the guys what was said.. So Maurice walks over after a moment and tells me: Maurice: Ok, well I tell you what. I got up out of bed to do this and I have my woman at home in bed, but I dont want this to take all night.. So I'll give you a freebie right now, but we gotta go now. We'll take them out down highway 'x' and see what they do. Me: Sounds good to me. So we loaded up and drove a little way to a secluded highway, his buddy in the black SS following. We get them rolling around 45MPH (4 lane highway, we are beside each other) and I was just waiting for him to stomp it. I knew he would get the jump considering he is always in boost and instant V8 torque has that advantage, but I was expecting to reel him in. So he stomps it and I follow. His instant torque puts his car ahead, his rear bumper at the tip of my front bumper, but my turbos spool and holds him at this position. Top of third, shift. He shifted at the same time. Still same position. But then coming through 4th gear, he shifts and I make up a 1/2 car length, firing on 5 cylinders. I get to top of 4th, shift. Lost no ground, but then I let out of it as we were cooking along pretty good, but he keeps into it and I watch. To my utter amazement and humor, a HUGE plume of smoke erupts from the back of his car and he disappears over a hill.. I follow the smoke and he's turning around and I follow him to the gas station at the corner.. The smell of sweet burning oil is pretty distinctive and droplets of oil and coolant on my windshield told the tale.. We pull over, his shit is smoking from every seam. He pops the hood and its steaming hardcore.. Maurice: Damn thing overheated... Me: Looks like you are burning some oil there.. Maurice: Nah, that's just condensation.. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's missing on a couple of cylinders and that its oil smoke coming out of the tailpipes. I look into the driver's seat area and the sight of a litttle narrowband O2 guage told volumes.. Superecharge + N2O + not enough fuel + narrowband guage + cocky SOB who thinks his car is fast = catastrophic failure. ----- TA, its what's for dinner.. -----
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